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Should You Take Him Back After He Dumped You?

Should You Take Him Back After He Dumped You?

a woman feeling sad on the beachGoing through a romantic breakup can be very distressing, and it ain’t an easy experience for anyone. However, things tend not to work out for some partners, which eventually leads to a breakup.

No matter how the relationship ended, there are surprising things that tend to happen after the breakup. For instance, your ex-boyfriend starts calling and texting you perhaps after a few weeks, months or even years, and his key message is that he misses you and wants you back.

This might come at a point when you’ve already moved on and you already have a new boyfriend, or you could have decided to take a break from relationships as you try to heal your broken heart.

However, making a decision on whether you should give him a second chance can be a very complicated process.

So, if you’re in such a situation, you could be wondering what you need to do. Well, there are certain things that you need to consider before getting back together with your ex-boyfriend.

In this, I am going to delve deeper into some factors that will help you decide whether you should accept your ex-boyfriend back after he dumped you.

Things You Need To Consider Before Giving Your Ex Another Chance

How long had you been together?

It is important that you put into consideration the length of time that you two were together. It would be easier to work out things in a relationship that had lasted for years than one where you had been together for just a few months.

What’s more, if you had been with him for just a few months and fighting always seemed to be the order of the day, that could be an indication that you two were incompatible. Fighting among couples is inevitable, but when it happens too often, something is not right. All in all, the duration of the previous relationship is a key factor that you need to consider.

Why did he dump you?

The first thing you need to do is to ask yourself why he dumped you. It could be he dumped you for no apparent reason, but all the same, it would be important to find out the reason as to why he dumped you.

Getting to know the reason you were dumped helps you to make an informed decision on whether the relationship will last or whether it will be another round of fights and disagreements.

For instance, if you’re ex-boyfriend dumped you because he thought you did not satisfy him sexually, it is possible he might still feel the same way if you get back together and the relationship might not be fulfilling, nor last for long.

Regardless of the reasons he will give you, it is advisable that you put into consideration all those reasons before you decide to give him a second chance so as to ensure you are not running back into a relationship that will fail a second time.

Will you be able to trust him with your heart again?

Being dumped can be a very painful and agonizing experience, particularly when you thought he could become your life partner. Betrayal can result in feelings of distrust and anger, and it is important that you first deal with those feelings before giving him another chance.

It is also important to note that trust is a key component of any relationship, and it would be difficult to have a peaceful union if you’re not able to trust him again.

Do you vibe well with his personality traits?

Being crazy in love or even just very attracted to someone is one thing, but if you don’t get on with a number of their personality traits then it is likely to cause a problem in your relationship.

Was there friction between how you and he say the relationship? Does he have any personality traits that you can’t accept? If there are and he’s willing to work on them then that is certainly a positive sign. If he’s just so stubborn that he refuses to change then this could be a problem. Stubbornness is a trait that many people seem to have in varying degrees and is very typical of Aries or Taurus men. However, with a little maturity, he should be open and willing to accept that he may need to lighten up a little on the bull-headedness.

In my opinion, anger is definitely a trait that needs to be addressed in order for two people to have a happy and healthy relationship.

Is he seeing someone else?

Another important thing that you need to find out before giving your ex-boyfriend another chance is if he has another girlfriend. Well, it would really help to consider how the other relationship is likely to influence your relationship should you get back together.

For instance, how will seeing them talk to each other affect you? Will feelings of jealousy affect your relationship? It would also be important to find out why they broke up with that other girl.

If he’s been staying in contact with you then it’s more likely that he is not seeing someone else, although this is not a definite thing. It is also entirely possible that he is seeing another woman but is still thinking about you and missing you. Here are some more reasons why your ex boyfriend is staying in touch with you.

One way you can find out if he is seeing someone else is to simply start a conversation with him over text. Before long you will likely pick up if he is seeing another woman by how he responds to you. However, if you’re still not sure then you can ask him directly. after all, it is perfectly natural to ask your ex how they are doing and what they are up to after the two of you have broken up.

Have you moved on?

If you had already accepted that it is over, chances are you might find it difficult to give the relationship another chance, particularly if it’s been months since you two broke up. So, if you had already erased him from your mind and life, you might want to think hard if it is worth giving him another chance more so since he had decided you are not the one for him. However, if you still love him and you feel that you want to take the risk, why not?

Summary

In addition to the things I have mentioned above, it would also be important to find out the reasons why your ex-boyfriend wants to come back to you, and whether you two will fit into each other’s life.

Finally, making a decision on whether you should take your ex-boyfriend back after he dumped you can be a daunting task, but I am sure that it will be a lot easier if you put the above factors into consideration.

How Guys Fall In Love With Women

How Guys Fall In Love With Women

lovers having a picnicLove is known to make both men and women experience intense feelings, but how men and women fall in love is quite different. What’s more, the adage “Men are from Mars women are from Venus” couldn’t be truer.

If you’re looking to attract a man into your life and you do not know where to start, it is imperative that you first and foremost get to understand the phases of how men fall in love. It would also be important to understand that unlike women who approach love from an emotional angle, men approach love rationally. To find out more about these phases, please continue reading.

Phases of How Men Fall in Love

Image is everything

The first thing men take notice of before deciding whether or not it is right to give their heart to a woman is her physique. Yes, you heard me right. Guys are considered to be highly visual and they tend to focus a lot on a woman’s physical attraction. However, it is important to note that what attracts one man to a woman is not necessarily what will attract another man to the same woman.

What I am trying to say is that one man may fall in love with you because of your eyes or your figure, but another man may fall in love with you because of your legs, hair or even smile.

He wants your attention

The second phase of falling in love after getting satisified with your physical looks, is trying to get your attention. What I mean by this is that once a man is drawn to you by your looks, he now tries to woo you by probably asking you to go out on a date with him, or just making sure you see more of him each day. However, it is important to note that a guy will not keep chasing a woman forever and he will normally give up on a woman once he realizes she is not interested in giving him the attention that he is looking for. What’s more, he continues with his search of looking for a woman who will give in to his advances.

It’s time to impress

Phase three is all about creating an impression. Once the woman has shown interest in the guy, he now tries to enchant her so that he can win her heart. For instance, he tends to engage her in interesting activities, he might spoil her with gifts, taking her for dates in exotic restaurants, or even dress in a manner that will impress her.

During this stage, the man is not necessarily in love with you, and what he is basically trying to do is to win your heart before he can take the next step.

He needs a conviction

Men are indeed very interesting when it comes to love because they are considered to be highly logical more than emotional. It is at this phase that guys start believing that a woman is special, though they might still want to be sure or test whether she has fallen in love with him.

In other words, he has started developing feelings for you, but he will hold them back until he can be able to ascertain if you truly like him and whether you are willing to spend the rest of your life with him.

Affirmation

During this phase, the man has now confirmed that you are deeply in love with him, but the downside is that he is yet to be sure if he really wants to be in a relationship with you. This is because all along he was focusing on getting you to give him attention and then love.

So, a man will wait until you have fallen in love with him so that he can start thinking whether he should or should not be in a long term relationship with you. It is important to note that he will require a lot more time to weigh the pros and cons of having you as his girl versus looking for better options.

Cupid strikes

This is certainly the last stage, and it only happens if a man decides that indeed you are his right match and that it wouldn’t hurt if he made you the love of his life. What’s more, if he sails through to this stage it means that he is ready to commit himself to you and be faithful to only you until death do you part.

On the other hand, if he starts acting like he is confused or disinterested, that is a sign that he wasn’t convinced that you are the right girl for him.

Summary

From the phases above, it is evident that a guy will not normally fall in love with a woman before he is convinced that she is head over heels for him. What’s more, even after he is certain that the woman wants a future with him, he tends to take his time in deciding whether he should fall in love with you or not. It can be an annoying cycle, but well, that is just how men fall in love.

It is important that you keep your cool and protect your heart by not expecting too much from a guy. It would also help to play hard to get though not for too long, as you wait to see what unfolds.

How to Stop Being Clingy In a Relationship

How to Stop Being Clingy In a Relationship

Many people tend to confuse closeness with neediness or clinginess. No one likes a clingy partner and it can be quite suffocating and overwhelming to be in such a relationship.

Clinginess is a dependency that often times aggravates to desparation, and this desparation can be very disastrous to a relationship.

Clinginess is caused by fear of abandonment, fear of being hurt again, lack of self esteem and self confidence or getting paranoid about what your partner is up to. Regardless of what contributes to your clingy behavior, it is important that you learn to overcome it and relate to your partner in healthier ways.

In this article, I am going to delve deeper into how you can overcome neediness.

Overcoming Clinginess In You Relationship To Get Things Back On Track

Emotional mindfulness

Emotional mindfulness is all about taking note of your feelings such as fear of loneliness and then trying to focus on that feeling without necessarily seeking contact. The idea is to try and understand how you feel instead of trying to avoid the feeling. This enables you to not only be able to express and familiarize yourself with your needs, but it also teaches you to be more tolerant.

Engage in positive self talk

Positive self talk entails dealing with self doubt and the insecurities that contribute to the negative self talk. It is important that you learn how to remain positive by avoiding negative thought patterns such as “I’m not capable of doing this”, or “I keep on failing no matter how much I try”, or “This is beyond my abilities”.

Positive self talk involves engaging in mantras such as “I know I can do this”, or “I will sail through this no matter what”.

Work on improving your self confidence

In order to overcome neediness, it is important that you learn to take responsibility of the various facets of your life, socialize and try out new things. It would really help to take on one responsibility at a time, and to probably begin with tasks that are less challenging so as to ensure that you’re progressing well or making good progress.

In addition, your confidence tends to develop once you are able to keep commitments to yourself without expecting to be reassured by your significant others.

Be true to yourself

Another crucial step in overcoming clinginess is taking notice of your clingy behavior, and how disastrous it is to your relationship. Being honest entails taking responsibility of how you feel without blaming your partner. Honesty is also about recognizing that being clingy does not amount to intimacy and love.

Distract yourself

Distracting yourself is a very useful tool of dealing with clinginess. For instance, if you feel the urge to constantly text your boyfriend or girlfriend regardless of whether they respond or not, or wanting to find out where they are all the time, it would really help to engage in something that will prevent you from engaging in unnecessary neediness.

You could engage in activities such as reading, yoga, meditation, hiking, or any other activity that will take your mind away from the clingy mind-set.

Seek therapy

a person having a counselling sessionSeeking help from a great therapist would help you to deal with the anxiety of been alone and to help you be more aware of how you are squeezing life out of your love and intimacy by being needy. Psychotherapy can also help you focus less on yourself and more on the source of your clinginess.

Learn to give your partner space

It is important that you learn to give your partner space because too much closeness can put a strain on your relationship. Giving your partner space helps to avoid feelings of been trapped and suffocation, which will eventually make him or her pull away from your life.

Parting Words

It is important to understand that a relationship with your partner is not the key source of your happiness. Contrary to what people tend to believe, happiness begins with you.

Happiness that comes from within is very important and it goes a long way in making your relaitonship better. In other words, you do not need to rely on your partner or relationship to be happy, but you can contribute to a happy relationship.

So, it is important that you make your life your happiness in order to be able to overcome clinginess.

The Reasons Men Fall Out of Love

The Reasons Men Fall Out of Love

a couple holding hands in loveMany couples across the world go through romantic breakups despite their initial desire for a long life together. Romantic breakups are unavoidable, and when they happen they tend to cause a lot of sadness, shame, anger, and a myriad of health problems such as depression, insomnia, or even broken heart syndrome.

Having said that, there are various reasons why people fall out of love, but I’m particularly interested in why men fall out of love. Well, there are many marital or relationship challenges that make men stop loving the woman they hoped to spend the rest of their life with, which include poor sexual relationship, misunderstandings, lack of loyalty, just to mention, but a few.

In this article, you are going to gain insights into some things that women do that cause men to fall out of love with them.

Tips on Why Men Fall Out of Love

Pretending to be something you are not

One sure way of pushing yourself out of a man’s heart is pretending to be a person you are not. Pretending to be intelligent, smarter or honest than you really are in order to please a man is never a good idea because things will not look good once he finds out that you have been lying to him. He is definitely going to be unhappy, and that relationship will not last.

Being Needy

Neediness is a turn off for many men, and unfortunately, it is a quality that most women display especially towards their men. It is important to note that neediness can wreak havoc on your romantic relationship, and it manifests itself as nagging, clinginess, self-centeredness, desperation, or talking too much. No man wants to be in a relationship with a needy woman because it can be very frustrating, and that will definitely make him pull away.

If you have identified neediness as a problem in your relationship or if your boyfriend has directly told you that you’re being too needy then our post on overcoming neediness in a relationship may help you.

Lack of respect

It is every man’s desire to have a woman who respects him regardless of his strengths and weaknesses. When a man feels that the woman in his life is not showing him the respect that he deserves, then he is likely to pull away. Some of the ways that women tend to disrespect their men include constant criticism, not listening to what their men have to say, failing to compliment and acknowledge good actions and hard work, and not showing them acceptance.

You stop taking care of your appearance

You will agree with me that most women are always very keen on their appearance during their initial stages of a relationship. Most women will often ensure that their hair is well done, that they have makeup on, or that they look physically attractive by exercising regularly and dressing appropriately for the man that they love.

However, as time progresses’, doing these things becomes less of a norm and it is at this point that men tend to pull away when they stop seeing what attracted them to a woman.

Materialism

There are various money problems that would make a man stop loving a woman. One of the problems is materialism, whereby a woman tends to value money over her relationship with the boyfriend or husband. It is important to note that materialism will definitely create unhappiness in your relationship, and if you push the man in your life to do things he cannot afford to do to an extent of going into debt, then he will not stay with you for too long.

Ignored or unmet needs

We all have certain needs that we always hope our spouses or partners will be able to fulfil. Well, men will fall out of love if they are in a relationship with a woman who is not able to fulfil or satisfy their needs. It is important to find out or take notice of the things that your man often desires and then try as much as possible to fulfil them. For instance, unfulfilled sexual desires could make your man pull away. Therefore, to avoid pushing your man away, it is imperative that you are keen on what he needs and doesn’t need. In other words, go out of your way to do what will make him satisfied.

Summary

There are many reasons why men end romantic relationships, but I hope the reasons that I have discussed above will help you gain insights on areas that you need to improve on in order to have a happy and long-lasting relationship with your man.