Many people tend to confuse closeness with neediness or clinginess. No one likes a clingy partner and it can be quite suffocating and overwhelming to be in such a relationship.
Clinginess is a dependency that often times aggravates to desparation, and this desparation can be very disastrous to a relationship.
Clinginess is caused by fear of abandonment, fear of being hurt again, lack of self esteem and self confidence or getting paranoid about what your partner is up to. Regardless of what contributes to your clingy behavior, it is important that you learn to overcome it and relate to your partner in healthier ways.
In this article, I am going to delve deeper into how you can overcome neediness.
Overcoming Clinginess In You Relationship To Get Things Back On Track
Emotional mindfulness is all about taking note of your feelings such as fear of loneliness and then trying to focus on that feeling without necessarily seeking contact. The idea is to try and understand how you feel instead of trying to avoid the feeling. This enables you to not only be able to express and familiarize yourself with your needs, but it also teaches you to be more tolerant.
Engage in positive self talk
Positive self talk entails dealing with self doubt and the insecurities that contribute to the negative self talk. It is important that you learn how to remain positive by avoiding negative thought patterns such as “I’m not capable of doing this”, or “I keep on failing no matter how much I try”, or “This is beyond my abilities”.
Positive self talk involves engaging in mantras such as “I know I can do this”, or “I will sail through this no matter what”.
Work on improving your self confidence
In order to overcome neediness, it is important that you learn to take responsibility of the various facets of your life, socialize and try out new things. It would really help to take on one responsibility at a time, and to probably begin with tasks that are less challenging so as to ensure that you’re progressing well or making good progress.
In addition, your confidence tends to develop once you are able to keep commitments to yourself without expecting to be reassured by your significant others.
Be true to yourself
Another crucial step in overcoming clinginess is taking notice of your clingy behavior, and how disastrous it is to your relationship. Being honest entails taking responsibility of how you feel without blaming your partner. Honesty is also about recognizing that being clingy does not amount to intimacy and love.
Distracting yourself is a very useful tool of dealing with clinginess. For instance, if you feel the urge to constantly text your boyfriend or girlfriend regardless of whether they respond or not, or wanting to find out where they are all the time, it would really help to engage in something that will prevent you from engaging in unnecessary neediness.
You could engage in activities such as reading, yoga, meditation, hiking, or any other activity that will take your mind away from the clingy mind-set.
Seeking help from a great therapist would help you to deal with the anxiety of been alone and to help you be more aware of how you are squeezing life out of your love and intimacy by being needy. Psychotherapy can also help you focus less on yourself and more on the source of your clinginess.
Learn to give your partner space
It is important that you learn to give your partner space because too much closeness can put a strain on your relationship. Giving your partner space helps to avoid feelings of been trapped and suffocation, which will eventually make him or her pull away from your life.
It is important to understand that a relationship with your partner is not the key source of your happiness. Contrary to what people tend to believe, happiness begins with you.
Happiness that comes from within is very important and it goes a long way in making your relaitonship better. In other words, you do not need to rely on your partner or relationship to be happy, but you can contribute to a happy relationship.
So, it is important that you make your life your happiness in order to be able to overcome clinginess.